


The Mysterious Affliction Known as Allergies

by Lisa_Telramor



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Allergies, Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-16 00:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2249706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisa_Telramor/pseuds/Lisa_Telramor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took a while to realize why he kept sneezing. Surprisingly, wizards were just as baffled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mysterious Affliction Known as Allergies

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack, so much crack and it's one of those fics that I'm not sure where it came from, I just saw the prompt and went "Haha, that would be funny!" and ended up with...whatever this is. I can never tell if what is funny for me will be funny for anyone else. >_>
> 
> Written for purplemoon3 on comment_fic LJ community for the prompt: Harry Potter, Harry + Any, Harry is allergic to owls.

As Harry hunched down over the table with his napkin over his face at the start of owl post, Hermione eyed him sideways. "Harry, I keep meaning to ask you; if you're allergic to owls, why did you get Hedwig?"  
  
"I hardly knew I was allergic to owls  _before_  Hogwarts," Harry said miserably. As feathers drifted through the air, he ruled out getting any more breakfast. Already he could feel his eyes watering and a sneeze coming on. "Besides, Hagrid bought her for me. As a birthday gift."  
  
"Well, then we could at least look into allergy remedies," Hermione said, ever practical. "Ron, what does the magical world do for people who have allergies?"  
  
Ron looked up, mouth full of eggs. "Mrrf?"  
  
"Honestly, swallow."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Allergies, Ron. Harry has them."  
  
"What's an allergy?"  
  
"It's why Harry has trouble breathing whenever there is an owl around." Across the table, Harry ducked an owl that swooped a bit too close. Hermione offered her napkin as an extra barrier against feathers and looked back to Ron. "It's...I don't know, why some people swell up from bee stings or how shellfish can make a person unable to breathe."  
  
Ron gaped. "That happens?"  
  
"Yes." Hermione frowned. Allergies would hardly be restricted to muggles. She had a mild allergy to peonies. She knew Lavender Brown got hayfever in the spring as she'd mentioned how glad she was that it was autumn not too long ago.  
  
Ron shook his head. "Sorry, Mate, I don't know how to help you. I've never heard of that sort of thing."  
  
"It's ok," Harry said, sniffling. Any minute he felt a sneeze coming on. "I'm pretty well used to it by now."  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Honestly. Someone in this school has to know what to do. Let's talk to Madame Pomfrey later."  
  
No one was exactly sure how this led to catching a spare classroom on fire while brewing an illegal potion or how Hermione ended up providing a medical breakthrough to the magical community halfway through their first year, but Harry was happy to say that his owl allergies never much bothered him after that.

 

*~*~*Originally an extra snippet*~*~*

 

Harry wondered if he had a cold. It was certainly possible after Uncle Vernon had dragged them to that drafty cabin on an island and the storm...though it was a bit odd that the symptoms hadn't started until halfway through the trip to Diagon Alley. Harry sniffled and craned his neck trying to find Platform 9 3/4. It had been a month and it still wasn't better.

 He could be missing the platform because of his eyes watering, but somehow he knew that wasn't the real issue. Hedwig hooted softly to him, blinking from under her wing at him sleepily. He smiled at her. She was a lovely owl. He felt like a bad pet owner; he hadn't been able to let her out of her cage much at all since he got her. He'd let her fly free once they got to Hogwarts, if only he could find the platform!

 A woman caught his attention saying something about muggles. Not ten minutes later, Harry found himself clutching his trunk and Hedwig's cage and staring up at a large, red steam engine and marveling that he had walked through what for all intents and purposes had seemed to be a solid wall.

 Of course the moment had to be ruined with a sneeze. Hedwig squawked as he jolted her cage with the force of it.

 "You need a hand?" one of the red headed twins from earlier asked.

 "Yes please," Harry sniffed. The boy and his twin helped him stow his trunk away as Harry tried not to look like a walking disease. The woman from earlier had looked concerned, but most people just looked like they didn't want to catch whatever he had.

 "Are you okay?" one--he thought it was Fred--asked, taking Hedwig from Harry.

 "I'm fine," Harry said, or tried to say. Unfortunately he sneezed halfway through and his eyes watered and he could feel snot threatening to drip from his nose. He scrambled for his handkerchief and pushed his glasses up to scrub at his face.

 When he settled them back on his face, the boys around him were staring at his face.

 "What?" Harry sniffed hard, but there wasn't anything dripping at the moment.

 "Are you...?" One twin said.

 "He is," the other confirmed.

 "Am I what?" Harry asked testily. He was feeling miserable enough without being talked about like he wasn't there.

 "You're Harry Potter," the twin that might be Fred said. "You know I thought you'd be more..."

 "Healthy?" Maybe-George said. "Intimidating?"

 Harry tried not to sneeze on them again.

 *

Later after he'd tentatively counted Ron as a friend--anyone that would share food with him after he sneezed all over them was someone he wanted to count as a friend--and the girl, Hermione offhandedly mentioned the fields of goldenrod they were passing Harry remembered Hagrid's offhanded comment about cats making him sneeze. He wondered if you could be allergic to owls like you could be allergic to cats.


End file.
